He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
