And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
