I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
nutella sex= disaster
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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