I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
