That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
