Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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