Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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