If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
