babies were throwing up all over the place
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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