So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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