Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
