She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
