Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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