happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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