help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
