I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
