I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
