so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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