don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
