she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
