worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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