she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
