rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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