So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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