whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
