if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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