Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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