Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
