He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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