dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
even my farts smell like vagina
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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