I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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