I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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