Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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