I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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