Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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