next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
