I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
