3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
