It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
