The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
