actually, I'm a sock model
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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