I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
