Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
