so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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