This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
