Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
