Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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