it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
