Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
