got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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